Sunday, July 10, 2011

171. (Fat Rant.)

*Note: If you don't like swear words, please scroll on by! This text entry has quite a bit of it.

I know this is supposed to be a "fashion blog" but what separates my blog from a fashion blog or style blog is that I'm fat. Fat is what society hates and is disgusted with, and I'm sure a lot of fellow fat people can agree the stigma that is attached to our fat bodies. People think it's okay to humiliate, shame, put down other people because of their bodies. We are perceived as lazy, unmotivated and even ugly individuals by society.

Well, you know what? To those people who think those negative things about us fatties? Fuck you.

You kind of people are the reason why some people have negative self-esteem. It makes me wonder why people put down others. To feel superior? To feel good about oneself? For what? Why is it that some skinny people (or otherwise) think they're better than I am because of their body? I'd rather be a polite person than be a rotten person who goes around putting people down for their appearance.

I know I am blowing this out of proportion, but I just want to get this out there for other people who think they can ask questions about my weight.

Today I got a formspring ask by some anonymous person about my weight. This person tried to use things such as, "I don't mean to be rude, but..." something to that effect. Now, I really hate it when people use that before saying an offensive statement! SAYING NO OFFENSE BUT... or any variation is STILL OFFENSIVE.

This person asked me if I was active and have I ever thought about losing weight.

Why the hell should my weight matter to you, anonymous individual? Why is it so important that you must ask me on formspring about my weight? Why does it matter to you anyways? I don't get it. Why do people think it's okay to ask someone about their weight... any person, for that matter. It's not okay to ask anyone - whether you're skinny or fat, about your weight or health! Besides, if I did answer, "Yes I do exercise" how many people would believe me anyways? People tend to disregard or even scoff at the fact a fat person exercises because... (I quote from someone who told me this once), "If they exercised/dieted, they wouldn't be so fat!" You don't know what experiences or other circumstances that individual is going through at all.

Would you go down the street and ask a stranger about their physical activity? Why is it okay to ask me because I'm fat? It's fucking annoying and I don't care if you "don't mean to be offensive". You are being offensive anyways. Same goes for other personal questions, too. If you wouldn't answer the question you're asking someone yourself, why is it okay to ask anyone else that question you wouldn't answer?

What do you think? Is it okay to ask someone of any size about their weight, health or physical activity?

25 comments:

  1. I feel the same way. I had this girl who was giving me a pedicure the other day tell me that she could "hook me up" with her personal trainer because he could help me lose some weight. Are you serious!? I think it's because many people truly can't understand that some people who are overweight (and otherwise) actually like their bodies for what they are and DON'T want to change. It's basically like-- if your body doesn't look completely "perfect" (as in the societal version of perfect-- skinny, abs, big boobs, big butt, hour glass figure, no cellulite, etc)-- then you must always have some self-shaming self-hatred thing going on, so it's totally okay to insinuate that you should lose weight, because if you're fat, you must be unhappy with yourself. ARRGH! It's totally inappropriate for people to talk about that kind of stuff with strangers, but it's because their puny little minds can't think outside the societal pressured box and actually wrap themselves around the idea that you actually might not want to change your body. People truly believe that everyone hates their body just like them and want to change. By talking about weight loss with you, it's nothing personal, it's just because they believe you, like them, are full of self-hatred. 

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  2. ps. i <3 you, i think you're wonderful, and don't let the haters get you down! haters gon' hate!

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  3. It is never okay to do any of these things.
    "I think you should try exercising, you might lose some weight."
    "Maybe you shouldn't buy this chocolate cause you know... you are fat."
    "A friend of a friend of a friend tried this diet and it worked really great. You should give it a try too."

    And so on and so on. I've already ranted on twitter how my coworkers every day comment on how much I need to lose weight because otherwise "I'll stay single forever". They tell me about what they think healthy eating is or that I should join the gym. I am a considerably private person so I don't go around telling people I work out 4-5 times a week and that I know every concept of a healthy eating. Even my own parents are not telling me I need to lose weight and I consider them the only people who actually have a right to tell how I am supposed to live my life (after all they gave me birth). So who gave those other people a right to tell me how I have to live. 

    But Gazel, this IS a fashion/style blog. You being the weight you are does not make this blog less fashion-orientated. The existence of fashion and style does not depend on the weight or size, it depends on the ideas you have in your head.  And I can tell you, those ideas are pretty great ;)

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  4. You are awesome and I couldn't agree more. I just don't understand what goes through their heads when they say stuff like that. Yeah, everyone thinks mean thoughts sometimes, but what possesses someone to actually say them? Especially to people they don't know. Whatever happened to a little thing called sensitivity?

    I've been hearing lots of stories lately from people who've witnessed fat hate. Calling a stranger a beached whale (I'm familiar with that one, got it all through school) for example. Ugh, WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHY? I don't fucking get it! Isn't it kind of common knowledge by now that what a person looks like on the outside means very little about how they are actually like on the inside? That it is impossible to judge someone simply based on appearance alone? Are people suddenly unaware that calling out others for insignificant flaws makes the perpetrator look like an ass? I don't get it. Apparently some folks missed the memo.

    The thing that gets me the most is, and I'm being my usual optimistic/naive self here, that EVERYONE has been bullied at some point or another. Everyone knows how it feels to be called out, unprovoked, on something that they can't, or just plain shouldn't have to, change. So why does the cycle keep going? I don't get it.

    Sorry for the rant, just stuff like this makes me so mad. If it makes any difference, you are a beautiful person, Gazel, and your blog makes me smile every day. I look forward to catching up on it in the evenings. Let us fat girls try and not let those jerks get to us. We are stronger than they can even dream of being.

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  5. I agree with everything you said and applaud you for posting it here.

    Sometimes a focus on 'health' feels like a thinly veiled chance to judge and or criticize. So in that sense, I don't think questions about weight health or activity are helpful, tactful or necessary.

    People can be healthy at any size. But they don't have to be. They are no more or less valuable either way. It's also no one's business if they are healthy or not.

    I am fat. Not healthy. I exercise. I struggle with food. I want to lose weight. I will be no more valuable when I do. But mostly I want to be accepted as I am- by others and by myself.

    You're fabulous Gazel.

    Jacqui
    Fat in a Leotard

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  6. Oh goodness, I really agree... I haven't answered the very same question for the past 10 years...

    I have to admit though I sometimes AM curious about someone's weight but mainly because of thoughts such as "oh, she's got the same curves as me and still looks great?! awesome....", I guess I'd never actually pose that question to anyone though... and I also agree with Vita I really think lots of fat people know much more about healthy eating than other people do...! But just knowing that won't just miraculously change your metabolism...

    And yes, Gazel, I really love your blog too : ). It sure motivates me to also wear more daring clothes! I really loved your last post when you said even though you have cellulites you love your legs : ). I'm trying to get to that point too and I really think in the past few month that I have started to extensively read blogs, I made huge advancements : ). Thank you!

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  7. I just showed this to my mom(we're both fatties) and she said, "You go girl!"

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  8. Princesse KyonyuuJuly 11, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    I read everything you wrote. I pretty much understood and I find it shocking that you ask these questions! I was told: "Play sports, you'll be less fat." BUT I DO SPORT! It's not that big because we are not doing anything ... And anyway, this kind of phrases, or questions, is moved! I hope you understand my comment, excuse me for my bad English.

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  9. I understand French! If you want you can use French when you go to my blog. ^^

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  10. Don't apologize. I love it when I can trigger discussions and emotions in my blog!

    I agree with everything you said.

    And thank you for your kind words.

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  11. Exactly.
    You summed it up well!

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  12. I'm curious too, but it doesn't mean I should ask someone, right? :P
    Some things are better kept in the mind only.
    And thank you so much.

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  13. Thanks!
    Not all fatties hate themselves, lol. You're right. <3

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  14. Oh gazel tu as tout a fait raison. Qu'ils pensent ce qu'ils veulent du moment qu'on est bien avec nous meme c'est le plus important. Qu'ils  (anonymes) se mĂȘlent de leurs histoires et pas des notres !

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  15. Sing it sister! Everyone has a right to feel beautiful!

    I always thought  it was funny how we are raised and taught as children that inner beauty is most important, and then as soon as people hit a certain age, suddenly these lessons don't COUNT anymore and it's okay to pry, judge and humiliate people.

    Nobody has the right to put down anyone else, even if it's just "no offense but..." You hit the nail on the head with this post. <3

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  16. Not to say it was anyone's business to ask a question...but do you consider the question might have been interpreted in the wrong syntax? Maybe it was just asked in the wrong way with the wrong choice of words. Maybe the person wasn't intending to come off that way at all. However, one can never tell especially when things are online.

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  17. I've heard it all my life.
    I'm sure a lot of fat individuals can agree.
    People who ask those questions (and even if it's in the wrong syntax, it's STILL none of their business) tend to veil their criticisms and judgments under the guise that it's out of concern.

    If I die tomorrow because of my health, oh well.
    I live by the notion, "Tomorrow is never promised".
    Regardless of my health, if it's time for me to die then so be it.
    People can take their fake concern and shove it.

    I don't mean to sound rude, but when you've gotten the same shit for many years of your life you tire of it, you know?

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  18. Exactly.
    Especially the cowards who say, "I'm only concerned for your health!" Shut up. They are just trying to seem nice but in the end it's just another criticism on my body and health.

    If you're going to fucking tell me I'm fat and you're disgusted, TELL ME. Right?! I'd respect that more than, "I'm just concerned for your health!" lololol

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  19. Brava, darling! Fuck them. They are insecure about their own bodies and are pushing that frustration on your confidence. I think you're beautiful and lovely and have amazing fashion style, which is why I come to your blog.

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  20. Erin_PlusSizedPrettyJuly 12, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    I concur. Thanks for posting this!!

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  21. "You don't know what experiences or other circumstances that individual is going through at all."
    That is the sanest blog post about weight I've ever seen. :) Good for you girl. Weight is a personal thing and people have no idea what your life is like so they have no right to judge. My weight is affected a lot by health problems for various reasons and that's my issue and if I don't choose to tell it to people then I don't see why they should be nosey. Simples. Anway, you keep being fabulous you!  It's your body and no one else's business!
    Florrie x

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  22. Haha, I thought I was going ballistic. But if you say so!
    I guess there have been more... ahem... less than sane rants about this subject out there.

    And thanks a lot.

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  23. I love this post!

    I keep coming back to one point with this whole thing about body politics.  Other people's bodies and health are nobody's business but their own!

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  24. hiya Gazel :)
    just thought it`d leave you a comment on here because i`ve recently discovered your wonderful blog and thought i`d let you know how much i`m enjoying reading it!firstly, i adore that this blog as a `fashion blog` :) i love reading all the fashion blogs out there, but i`m so bored of seeing the one size woman! your body shape totally makes the same clothes look different - and much more interesting! i love seeing the different outfits you`ve put together - especially one of the posts that you made about `breaking the rules` and how `the rules` somehow make you look fat; i thought your `rule-breaking` outfits were totally working for you!!! (horizontal stripes? everyone wears them!) i also think that you`re very inspiring with your attitude :) i know that you sometimes are offended and hurt by ignorant comments, but i love how positive your reaction is to it!i`ve enjoyed reading through your posts, and i`m going to continue to do so - i`ve added it to my to-keep-checking-in-on blog list ;) love,Amanda xxp.s. i totally just went through your Twitter+Tumblr before and added you/liked a load of your outfits, hehe! hope you don`t mind ;)

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Thanks for commenting! If you have any questions needed to be asked ASAP e-mail me at gazelma [at] hotmail.com ... feel free to drop me a question here on the comment box and check back because I reply/answer to most comments!