Thursday, July 14, 2011

173. (Fat Rule Breaking)

Most of my life as a fat girl I've heard it all. We've all heard it before. You know, how we can't wear something because of our bodies or how we should wear something to look "flattering" or "skinnier".

"You can't wear this!"
"Stripes make you look fat."
"Wearing that will make your hips look BIGGER."
"Black is so slimming for you".
"Hide your arms, etc."

I truly think it's sickening that as a society, we are pushing a certain body type as an ideal for beauty. I think that every body is beautiful anyways. Why is it when we are told what to wear, it always has to pertain to looking skinny, flattening the rolls, etcetera? While fat bodies, or even just curvy or a "bigger body" beyond the ideal is something that should be avoided at all costs. We've socialized ourselves to think that these body ideals are okay when it's not. I'm not shaming skinny people at all, but I am shaming the fat shaming if you get what I'm saying.

Well with that in mind I've grown up now and thanks to the internet and many fashion blogs + fat acceptance blogs I've learned to say, "SCREW IT" to those inane rules and wear whatever the hell I want to wear. In fact, I've taken the liberty to purposely wear things that is considered a big "no-no" for a fatty and I feel good about it. Yeah, some people stare at me or laugh, but so what? Some also applaud me for taking risks with my attire.


Here's a list of rules that I have heard in my lifetime...



Stripes
We've heard the big fuss about stripes: "Horizontal stripes make you look wider. Only wear vertical stripes." Well, throw that garbage mentality out of the window. No matter WHAT we wear, we will still have our bodies. I am still fat and no amount of clothing (or lack of) can change the fact that I am fat. So I will wear stripes, and I don't apologize for offending anyone while doing so. Here's one of my looks wearing stripes here.



White Clothing
I've heard this one a lot as a kid, "White makes you look WIDER!" It's kind of the same mentality as the horizontal stripes argument. Again, wearing anything but white won't remove the fact I am FAT. So I will wear white. My mom refused to buy me a white graduation dress because it'd make me look "fatter". I am kind of regretting not wearing a white dress to my high school graduation. Here's me sporting an all-white ensemble here.


Colourful Clothing / Patterened clothing
"Wearing colours/patterns will only attract people to look at you." Oh yes, I've heard this one too. You don't know how many times growing up that I was denied to buy any colourful clothing by my parents because it will draw attention onto me. At the time I didn't want attention drawn on me because I was socialized to believe that no one wants to look at a fatty. Now that I reflect on it... what the heck was I thinking? I'm all about fat visibility and if wearing colours will make people notice me, then so be it! I'll vomit a rainbow all over you... haha, just joking. Here's me rockin' a colourful outfit here.


Showing Leg/Skin
"No one wants to look at your thunder thighs/arms". Yeah, I've heard this too. So I covered up as much as possible. I wore longsleeves and really baggy hoodies as a teenager to hide my shape. I was ashamed of myself because... well, it's been ingrained and drilled into my head that you don't question, but you just do it because you are told. Now that I'm a free-thinking adult I bare all the skin I want to. My legs, especially. Here's an outfit I posted on the Evans Facebook page and I got a lot of flack for because it's too short (lol) and my legs were showing. It's sad how the hatred towards fat people can even be internalized inside ourselves. Time to break that mentality and show some skin! ;) If you don't want to go all out you can always wear sheer clothing.


NO skin tight clothing!
With this, it includes swimsuits. I suspect I got flack for my weight a few posts down because I, GASP, wore something FORM FITTING and it reveals my belly! Am I not supposed to wear a bathing suit? Or am I burning your eyes? If it's the latter, it's not my problem if I'm burning your eyes. Go get a fire extinguisher to soothe it then. No fucks will be given to that. I say wear whatever you want. Wear a belly-fitting bathing suit or a bodycon dress. In the end it's how you feel about yourself and not what other people think. Besides, with strangers... you'll never see them again so why let them ruin your fun? This is the bathing suit I wore here, and I'm not sorry.


Oversized Clothing/Shapeless Clothing
I LOVE oversized clothing and clothing that is deemed as a ~tent. I find this kind of stupid because I was told as a teenage fatty that wearing tight things were bad, yet when I wear oversized "shapeless" stuff I am scrutinized too. We never win, do we? I got flack on tumblr for wearing oversized stuff. As seen here. We're told to wear things that give us shape, but then when we do, we're scolded for it. I'm sorry but I don't want to put a belt on everything I wear - so shapeless it is.


Empire Waist Dresses
I love empire waist dresses. I'm sure everyone - either fat or skinny has heard this gem, "AVOID empire waist dresses, they make you look PREGNANT!" Then I guess I will continue to look pregnant then. They're so comfortable, how could I not? Here's my wearing my favourite empire waist maxi dress here.


No skinny jeans or anything high waist
I've seen a Facebook hate group for both of these. Something along the lines that fat people wearing skinny jeans are like sausages and is a crime against humanity. Same with high waist stuff. If I could flip off these people I totally would. There's plenty of people who look smashing in skinny jeans. Here's a picture of me wearing skinny jeans.


I think I've exhausted most of the rules. Bottom line is that these rules are absolute garbage.

Next time you plan an outfit just wear whatever the hell you want. Who invented these stupid rules anyway? We only live once so just wear what you want and pay no heed to those who snicker and laugh. They can only wish they had as much gall as you have. If you're not confident, fake it till you make it. That's what I did and now people laughing is just something that I don't care about. I'd rather be interesting than be a complete bore. :)

So, do you guys regularly break the "fashion rules"? If so, which ones? Do you have any more fashion rules to add that you have been told about that isn't in this blog post? Share please!

Also, a bonus question: Do you guys like these types of blog posts where I still rant but provide relevant ~clothing articles or did you want me to just stick to outfit posts? I'm interested in what you guys think.

47 comments:

  1. LOVE THE RANT! As I am trying to come out of my fatphobia (towards myself) closet, I need to be told, and retold and yes AGAIN told the truth...RANT/PREACH ON!!!

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  2. Hi Gazel, long time follower, first time commenter here.  I just had to tell you that I was fist pumping my way through this entire blog post!  I too have heard (and followed) these fattie fashion rules until the last couple of years when I finally grew to accept and love my body.   When I  started breaking these fashion rules guess what?  I started to look good!  Skinny jeans, empire waist dresses.. these are just a few of my favourite things now.  Thanks to the inspiration that all the awesome plus size fashion blogs have given me (including yours of course) I know that I will never go back to wearing what society thinks I should and rock my own personal style from now on.. and most importantly I will do this without shame or fear. :)

    I do like your rant/political posts and I say to continue doing them if that's what you want.. it is, after all your blog, your space.  A Fat Fashion blog in itself is a political act in our society so it only makes sense that you talk a little bit of fat politics.  I find it very empowering myself to hear other girls say what I've only thought.

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  3. Love the rant! So often, I see so many plus size women constantly trying to hide their figures and shy away from fashion. Fashion is such a fun way to express yourself, yet so many women feel they can't wear cute clothes because of so-called rules. In fact, I think tons of clothes actually look better on curvy figures!

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  4. I am actually getting to the point where I no longer feel comfortable wearing my (old) favourite clothes, because they  resemble too much the "fat uniform" or the things we're TOLD to wear. That's also problematic :D My attitude is so "fuck that shit" that I don't want to be seen as "conforming", even when it's clothes that I previously liked!

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  5. Love having the thoughts and opinions mixed in! This is your blog, and to see what you wear and what you think at the same time makes it that much more personal!

    Plus, I gotta say, you rocked EVERY SINGLE RULE, and you're totally gorgeous in every way. Screw anyone that says otherwise, darlin'.

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  6. I love these types of posts! I wish I was eloquent enough to write things like this myself but you've put into words everything I've ever thought.

    For so long I avoided all of these items of clothing and attempted to 'hide' my fat, but screw the rules! I wear leggings as pants almost every day and I don't care who see's my fat ass!!

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  7. you look so beautiful and classy in all of them, especially that maxi dress paired with the jean jacket.

    i'm working my way up to breaking the fashion rules. i think it takes time to build that level of confidence, but slowly and sure i'm getting there :)

    sarah rose
    zezaftig.blogspot.com

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  8. There is a tv stylist in the UK called Gok Wan and he promotes a positive image of bigger women and styles women on a show called 'How to look good naked' he's nice enough but he always puts bigger women in maxi dresses with a cover up or makes them wear control pants.
    I DO NOT want to wear maxi dresses or long skirts or ugly tunics!! so many of the clothes made for women who are bigger don't break the rules and they are really ugly.
    This issue had even made me resort to losing some weight. I want to be a size smaller so I can wear clothes from the regular range rather than having ugly clothes aimed at a 50+ market available to me. I would love to break the rules and wear nice things and not give a damn but it's really hard when nothing nice comes in sizes bigger than a 16 in the UK :(

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  9. We have that show from the UK airing here in Canada!
    I have to disagree with the clothing selection... I buy all or most my clothing from UK shops! Canada's selection is abysmal. Only one company monopolizes all the plus size stuff. The US stuff isn't that great either... well I guess the grass is greener on the other side.

    I agree with you, us fat girls are more than just maxi dresses or tunics. I hope one day the industry changes. :(

    I'm sorry to hear about the show making you have a negative outlook. Self-confidence is a long journey and process. During the earlier stages of when I found the plus size community on the internet I was in denial about it for like a year. It really is different for everyone and I wish the best of luck to you. x

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  10. It's a slow but rewarding process! It's very liberating once you shake off those chains and remove those shackles that society has put upon us individuals. x

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  11. Hey, it took me a few years to get out of that whole internalized fatphobia. If I can do it, so can you my dear! It's different for everyone but I know you can do it.

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  12. Sometimes I can't communicate myself because I don't know many words or how to articulate myself so thank you for assuring me on that aspect. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks these things.

    And preach, girl! 

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  13. Thank you! :)
    I think I will start to write a bit more. It's good to mix it up sometimes.

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  14. Yesss, I purged a lot of my old clothes and I've never looked back.

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  15. Yes I agree. :)
    I think a lot of people can see that some clothes look good on curvy women if we were more visible in our mainstream society and media! I hope that in our lifetime it happens. x

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  16. I'm glad you follow my blog and read it!! I'm so happy you commented today. :)

    I'm glad that you have been inspired. I too have been inspired and that's where I have come a long way.

    And thank you! I will write more I think. It is empowering. We've been silenced for too long. It's time to speak up against it. :)

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  17. the liberty belleJuly 14, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    i agree with you! you are gorgeous, and you should wear whatever you like! i love your blog, and i love your passion.  i am now following you-you deserve it! :)

    thelibertybelleblog.blogspot.com

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  18. Hey Gazel,
    I'm from Germany and I love your blog! I can really understand you! I'm quite a normal size myself, but I like to wear empire waist dresses/tunics and I also always get to hear that only pregnant women should wear them...I simply hate all those silly rules!

    Oh, the most annoying 'rule' to me: I'm not that tall, but I really like maxi dresses/skirts. But just about everybody tells me I shouldn't buy one because they would make me look 'little'.
    Yeah.. but I am little.. I love it.. and what the heck ist wrong about being little??
    The same people tell me to wear more high heels so I would look taller...
    But I don't give a f*** ;) and bought a maxi skirt last week I am gonig to wear with flat shoes... OMG ;)

    Greetings from Germany,
    Sarah

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  19. I'm too short for maxi dresses but I still wear them.
    Dress however you like! I'm sure you look great in your maxi skirt.

    x

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  20. I think the only of those rules I DON'T break is the white clothing one (and that's just because I would probably drool on myself or fall in some mud within 5 minutes) Anyway, I love to hear your opinions on fat fashion as it's obviously something that applies to me as well and makes me feel like I have a friend out there.

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  21. I just discovered your blog and it is awesome :D you're so beautiful.

    I live in high-waisted shorts and skirts, short dresses, stripes, patterns, and I won't wear jeans unless they're skinnies. Plus, I've acquired a series thing for tights shirts paired with oversize sweaters. I was afraid of all of it for awhile, but I've come to accept myself a lot more :D Great post.

    I don't know if this will post my blog with my name or not, so I hope I'm not coming off as spam because I'm not used to Disqus. I'm certainly not trying to spam :P

    http://desertamericana.blogspot.com/

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  22. No way, you're not coming off as spam at all.
    I took a glance at your blog and you are SO beautiful. I'm a new follower now, too!

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  23. I feel ya on the white clothing part though. It seems EVERY TIME I eat something with white clothes, stains and other debris gets on my clothes... sigh. Hehe. :)

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  24. The nice thing is that you can express yourself as much as you like! People always will have the option to read/not read whatever you're putting out there. Best of both worlds!

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  25. I break fashion rules daily. I adore skinny jeans and bold patterns... especially the horizontal stripes and big floral prints. I also like wearing flats with midi length skirts to work... I hear this is supposed to make a girl's fat calves look even fatter but what ever... I like the retro look of it so I do it with pride!  Keep preaching!

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  26. I love your attitude and determination. I remember being a kid and buying this really cute blue sweater that I wanted so much and was so happy when finally got it. I showed it to my grandma and her response was: you have a huge butt so you should only wear sweaters that cover it. I was hurt but responded with "I am gonna be fat with either short or long sweater so why should I wear something I don't like".
    The so called rules are nonsense. We should wear what we like and what we want, not what other people want us to wear. With all the contradictory rules it's easy to get lost so I'd rather make my own rules and stick to them. And main rule is: wear what makes you happy.

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  27. I agree with you. I wear whatever the hell I want and I will not apologize for it. In fact, let me  raise a flabby arm in the air and give you a high five!
    www.dollfacedlynne.blogspot.com

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  28. Rules are most definitely made to be broken. I love to wear clothes that I shouldn't for whatever reason. I avoided stripes for years in case they made me look fatter, but I don't think that is neccesarily true anyway so I wear them  now. Same with empire lines, I think they are flattering as they skim over my hip and thighs and high light under the bust (the thinnest part of my body), plus they are comfy and easy to wear.

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  29. Exactly!
    Fat fashion rules are VERY contradictory, it's stupid.

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  30. You go girl :)
    I wear midis with flats too and I don't give a damn.

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  31.  another vita! awesome :D

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  32. Time and Space TravelerJuly 15, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Rules are made to breaking them! I hate when someone says: do this don't do that, you can't wear it cause you're too fat/ too skinny/ too blonde/ too brunette/ too young/ too old... F*ck them! Every one of us should decide what's good for her :) Kisses and fashion anarchy for everybody!!! :):)

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  33. All I have to say is "Wow!". You have just summed up everything I have ever heard my whole life from my Chinese family. Just the other day my dad told me to never wear horizontal stripes....haha...I'm 25 years old and he's giving me "fashion" advice. Not to mention I just wore a black and white horizontally striped shirt the day before he made that comment and I felt pretty darned good about the way I looked in it. Thanks Gazel, you're wonderful and don't stop doing what you do just because some people "don't mean to be rude"...haha.

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  34. I get so tired of being expected to hide, to disguise, to minimise, to change my body to avoid offending other people's eyes.  Screw that I say - and now I wear things that make me happy, make me feel good and allow me to express myself through my clothes.

    Kudos to you for embracing your body and your own style - you're changing the game, baby!

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  35. Thank you so much for this. I'm trying to learn too accept my fat body, and I have a hard time breaking these rules. But I need to hear/see them being broken by other fat, beautiful ladies. Thank you.

    http://www.bigonmodesty.wordpress.com

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  36. I love your style! And you are SO adorable. I agree; rules are meant to be broken, and why should anyone have the right to criticize you-- no matter WHAT size you are-- when you dress so well? Seriously. You look fabulous. 

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  37. I'm officially in love. I want to embroider this entire post on a skin tight, sleeveless dress and wear it every day.
    You're the best!

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  38. "If you're not confident, fake it till you make it." <-love this!

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  39. You go girl! Love the attitude. Been fat my whole life and living in the Philippines where people "used" to be skinny made my younger years a hell to curse. I never wear short sleeves or sleeveless dress or blouse because of my flabby arms and stretchmarks crawling like snakes, but hey, we need to show some skin right!? Time to break the rules!!!

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  40. I love your confidence (and I love everything you wrote in your 3rd to last paragraph) If you're not confident, fake it till you make it... great quote!!!

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  41. Obesity is not just about aesthetics, but above all health. You arefat = you're sick.

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  42. Even if I am sick, it's still none of your business.

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  43. Do you mind if I post this on my tumblr? (with credit to you of course). I really needed to see this post and have been getting a lot of flack recently about the clothing I wear. Not at the point of feeling completely confident yet.

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  44. WOW LOOOVE UR BLOG!! U ARE SOO GORGEOUS :) AND I LOVE UR STYLE!! I totally have that 'Alexa' Miu Miu bag. Finally someone who understands fashion

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Thanks for commenting! If you have any questions needed to be asked ASAP e-mail me at gazelma [at] hotmail.com ... feel free to drop me a question here on the comment box and check back because I reply/answer to most comments!